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Still, the paradox of semisecret, outrageous sexual openness infuses Roman history, and Christianity's revision of official mores did not eradicate that aspect of this culture.Many churches in Rome are repositories of prodding homoerotic impulses.Although the wife never explicitly acknowledges her husband's same-sex involvements, she knows the score, and, amazingly, no one's all that broken up about the situation'except for out Italian gay men, who groan with heartsick recognition when you ask about such characters. They also claim that as Rome and other major cities have developed avowedly gay cultures, the number of married gay Italians has dropped.(From Naples south, they say, marriage to women is still the norm for men who love men.) Then ask one of these 'out' gay guys if his mother knows about him, and chances are he'll say she does. 'Well...' For the Good American Gay, it's tempting to dismiss married gay Italians, and the quasicloseted lot who won't tell Mamma, as hypocrites. We assume that coming out is the precondition of a gay man's psychological and spiritual health.But reality is more complicated: If Italy can put Vladimir Luxuria in the senate, why can't its ordinary macho guys leave their wives and come out to their mothers? 250, historian John Clarke explains, 'Romans had sex with people of different genders, in different social situations, at various stages of life.' To a freeborn Roman man, almost any sexual activity with almost any partner was morally acceptable'as long as he took the 'active' role.Last fall I went to Rome looking for answers to that question. Gibbon noted ruefully that, in the bedroom, only Claudius among the first dozen Caesars was 'regular.' His main source for this information was the Roman historian Suetonius, the personal secretary of Hadrian (who deified his teenage lover Antinous after the boy drowned in the Nile and who raised so many monuments to him that, of all the faces of all the human beings who lived in the ancient world, that of Antinous was the most reproduced and survives as the best-preserved).The rainbow-bedecked Web site of his business, Roma With Pride, proclaims, 'I am happily out,' though not, he confesses over dinner one night, to 'Mamma.' With a wave of his hand, he says, 'She is old and don't know about Internet.' Then he turns serious: Although he's pretty sure his mother knows he's gay, he can't tell her because 'it could kill her, I think. I don't think that she could take it.' Another day, at lunch, a young Sicilian explains, chuckling, 'They are always weak-hearted, the Italian mothers, for some reason.

The unlikely object of their adulation is Vladimir Luxuria, Italy's first and only transgender member of parliament'who, before her 2006 election, was best known as founder of Rome's avant-garde gay nightclub Muccassassina ('The Cow That Kills'; it's just as absurd in Italian). Next to me stand an impeccably dressed straight couple who have witnessed this scene, their Roman chins cocked high.

I don't know why Jason bothers trying to pick up at the Sun Hotel, it's full of sticky rice.